i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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