my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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