If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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