A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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