At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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