omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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