how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
