she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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