So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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