THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
