Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
