Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
