well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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