this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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