this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
