dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
