We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can't turn off my feet"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
