now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
