I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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