I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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