Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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