she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
