Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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