You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
