it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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