Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
