I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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