we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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