Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
