I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
