know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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