I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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