so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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