I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My vagina is officially offended.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
