Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
