Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
