She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize