She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
