I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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