areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize