I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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