i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
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