am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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