Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
