So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
