I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
