could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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