I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
