noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
