There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
