i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
