Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
