just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
