What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
