lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
