Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize