i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
