I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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