Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
