I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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