Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
