i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
