k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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