I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
