Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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