i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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