I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
