marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize