So drunk its hurt
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
