I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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